How To Get A Date With Minimal Rejection: The First Call

July 1, 2016


  • Texting Vs. Calling
  • How To Make The First Call?
  • The Second Call: Telling Her Rather Than Asking Her
  • Women Love Surprises

Texting Vs. Calling

You have got her phone number, now use it. This means physically calling not texting, emailing or any other form of communication substandard to that of a telephone. Girls often associate text-messaging or internet approaches as weak and lacking in confidence. Furthermore these mediums arguably make it harder to create a more personal connection and allow her time to think about what to say and whether or not to reply.

How To Make The First Call

Call the woman and chat to her for about 15 mins one or two days after getting her number. Pick a random topic, I usually like “Can a cat be gay?” it is very peculiar and chicks are always talking about relationships and the unknown. Say you were having an argument with a friend and you need her to settle it for you. Also say you “cant talk for long, I’m just driving home”.

The purpose of this is not to make the conversation about her; it’s about getting a woman’s opinion and you just happen to call her because you need to kill time during your drive. Doing something else whilst speaking to her implied that you are not desperate and that she is not that important; basically you will play hard to get. Every conversation like any story has its peak; the point where your interest is at its highest. End the conversation as it reaches it peak, just as she starts to really get interested in it and talk about it.

This will frazzle her systems. Every single other guy gets a number and the first call they make ends with asking the girl out on a date. If you fail to adhere to this social norm you will demonstrate that you are “not just another regular guy” (Counterintuitiveness gentlemen). She will be surprised and it will help create rapport with her if she feels that you want to get to know her better rather than just get into her beef-curtains. Imagine you’re talking to you best female friend, just assume rapport. If you believe that you are close and on good terms, she will too.

More often than not the girl will not remember who you are or what your voice sounds like. Guys fall into the pitfall of having to explain who they are usually before they even ask. Having to say “Hey, It’s Jim, you know, the guy from the nightclub last night” is pretty awkward. By volunteering this extra information it shows that you assume people will not remember you and this is not an attractive trait. Creating nicknames at the time of getting their number will avoid all this.

The Second Call: Telling Her Rather Than Asking Her

Call her back 2-3 days later and say “I can’t stay long but what are your plans on Sun / Mon / Tues / Wed(pick one)”. These are not major nights of the week and reduce your chances of her being busy. At the same time it lets her know that you are probably busy on the major nights and currently do not put such a great emphasis on your relationship with her to be spending a major night of the week on her.

If she says she is busy then ask “When are you free next?” This gives her an indefinite time period and stops you appearing needy by cycling through the days. “Well how about Wed then? No? Oh well how about Thurs? Fri even?”

It is not a good look. She is forced to answer as she cannot be busy forever… Secondly you are technically not asking her out on a date, rather you are implying your intentions to date her by not labeling it as a date per se. This is essential if you wish to continue flying under the radar.

Agree on a day, then you set the time and place to meet. Just say “I’ll meet you at 8 outside the _________”. Do not ask her what she wants to do and do not tell her what you are going to do. Say it’s a surprise.

The aim here is to act like every woman would be grateful to date you; rejection and uncertainty should never enter your mind. You should convey this confidence to your woman by saying you are seeing her rather than asking to see her.

Only insecure men say things like “Well, I was wondering, um, maybe we can go out sometime, like meet up for a drink or something?” You are confident and need to take charge, tell them how it is rather than wait for them to show you the way.

The beauty of mentioning a surprise is that you exploit two mental hardwires in your woman’s brain that are standard to all of us:

1) We all hate missing opportunities, even if we do not want the opportunity to begin with. For example, we will want a snickers bar over a mars bar if we know snickers will not exist tomorrow. This is also a common marketing technique, which you will see marked by “limited edition” products. Why else do you think gold coke bottles or tour T-shirts at a concert sell so well?

2) A lot of us still retain childish mentality of wanting to do the opposite of what we are told, yet when a “surprise” is offered our will is held hostage as our curiosity will get the best of us.

So offer the woman a surprise. The beauty here is not the surprise itself but rather the curiosity that brews within the woman.

Women Love Surprises

Begin a story and tell them they will hear the finish of it next time you see them. Do it at the end of the night and make it enthralling. This is done not so much through the content of the tale but how you deliver it .

Meet them but do not tell them where you are heading. Let them find out once they get there.

Offer them a surprise before your date e.g. “I’ll meet you Tuesday at 8, be prepared, I have surprise for you, but I’ve got to run now so see you then”. On the date either: do not give it to them till the next date or give them a present (at the end of the night) that has no monetary value but has a good story behind it. I usually give them a peculiar bracelet that I pick up cheap at the local markets, accompanied with this “amazing” story of how I came to have it.

Take them somewhere new and different as if it had just occurred to you. Some examples could be a Moroccan tea house, ferry trip, or the zoo. Don’t do coffee! Do not make them think your time together revolves around her. Appear to be the hunted, not the hunter.

Suddenly reveal some secret, (make sure it is not anything negative)

Occasionally have a pre-planned surprise. What often seduces people is the feeling that you have spent some time on their behalf. But don’t boast about the effort you put into it.

Try to take her on an emotional rollercoaster; make her feel a variety of different emotions. Meet her outside the supermarket and tell her the surprise is that you are going grocery shopping. She will no doubt be a little disappointed. Then once you are done pretend to drive her home and end up at a surprise destination.

This is proven to reduce flakes (when girls cancel arrangements or stand you up) and I find it can also help with changing them to another venue. I am sure you can find many more applications. The surprise though, needs to have her excited. So hype it up a bit.

-Venues: places which are counterintuitive and don’t make it ‘about her’. Clothes shopping, Woolworth’s, IKEA, ferries, zoo, markets, beach…

-Taking her out of her comfort zone, getting her to rely on you: social proof bars, your work (if its in hospitality), parties…

What to do on a date and beyond? Check out my Online Dating Course for Men to find out! There you can find out 29 lessons containing video instructions on how to date and mate better and change YOUR LIFE forever.

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