How to Begin a Conversation With A Stranger and Approach Women

October 24, 2016


  • Difference Between Direct And Indirect Opener
  • The Real Reason To Use Indirect Opener
  • Drawbacks Of Indirect Opener
  • Your Ultimate Goal Is To Be Direct

The style of opening(initiating conversation with a woman) you will learn here is unlike any other in the world. The reason is that it is a process designed to help you grow into a man who can open every time successfully whilst being as lazy as possible. The goal is to put in as little effort as possible to get the greatest result.

Difference Between Direct And Indirect Opener

Approaching women can be done either directly or indirectly. Both methods have their advantages and disadvantages.

An indirect approach occurs anytime the man uses an innocuous pretense as an excuse to talk to a woman. An innocuous pretense is any reason that would be seen as non-threatening, such as asking for the time, for directions or for an opinion.

A direct approach occurs anytime the man does not attempt to mask his true reason for talking to a woman. Direct approaches can range in intensity from the lukewarm “How’s it going” to the warm “I had to come over and say hello” to the smoldering “I think you look incredibly sexy”.

The advantage of indirect openers is that they can be used by men who have little experience approaching women as they mask any flirtacious intent. It allows the man to practice some of the crucial elements of the approach without having to feel nervous, embarrassed or shy about what he has to say.

The Real Reason To Use Indirect Opener

Most dating coaches will teach you indirect openers for the conversational benefits; you are going in with something pre-prepared to say, which often takes the edge off. In my opinion this is not the primary reason you will be using these openers. You will use them to practice your delivery.

The non-verbal aspects of the communication include eye contact, voice control and posture. These are three things which you will most likely not take notice of because to you they seem obvious and far from earth shattering. This was a mistake that plagued me for 3 years and saw many rejections. We will touch upon these three aspects later.

Drawbacks Of Indirect Opener

One of the primary drawbacks of the indirect opener is that it causes the you to mask your sexuality whereas in reality you want to embrace your sexuality. The opener sets the tone for the entire interaction and when a man tries to “fly under the radar” he subsequently has to make a very conscious effort to start flipping the various attraction switches so that the woman will begin to see him as a lover and not merely a friend.

A second drawback is that regardless of how cleverly you attempt to mask your true intentions, attractive women are socially intelligent enough to understand why you are there. Just know that before you have even opened your mouth, she assumes that your intentions are not platonic unless she is asking you if you want milk or sugar, paper or plastic.

Of course there are various methods for making your indirect opener. Lines such as “Do you think horoscopes are legitimate?” appear more spontaneous, perhaps to the extent that the woman will really believe that it was just pure chance that you ended up talking to her. However, once you have mastered the non-verbal aspects of the approach it is time to ask yourself if you really wish to continue down this route. You are there talking to a beautiful woman who has the attention of every single male in the bar. As a sexually confident male you should embrace the intensity and not shy away from it.

Your Ultimate Goal Is To Be Direct

Here the end goal is a direct opener (“I saw you from over there and had to come say hi”) without coming across as an average sleaze-bag. This is why you need to begin with indirect openers. Indirect openers are not used by your average sleaze-bag, they are merely questions that allow you to shut your brain off and think about your eyes, your voice and your posture. Your goal is not to get them into a conversation nor is it to get them home. Your goal is to open, ask your question, pay specific attention to the three things mentioned above and then eject.

Why eject? Because indirect openers are not the most confident or efficient away to start a conversation. You may feel dirty that you have this secret sexual motive deep inside you that you know is going to have to come out sooner or later. This can make you anxious and will be noticed by the women you are interacting with.

Being direct can save you an amazing amount of time as not only do you get rejected less than 5% of the time (when done right) but you can tell instantly if they are interested or not and will often see you kissing them in less than 20 minutes.

All these results are purely reliant on you starting to open indirectly by asking questions, developing your non-verbal communication, and then once they are developed moving on to direct openers. Unfortunately it is hard to teach non-verbal communication through writing, so that’s why I encourage you to check out my Online Dating Course for Men: There you can find 29 lessons with videos that will help you to get amazing results with women.

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