A Blue Print for Approaching Women and Creating Attraction

November 11, 2016
pick up artist with women

If picking up women is TRULY simply then you should be able to do it quickly. If you can do it quickly you can then use it over and over in a short period of time to seduce the masses.

Learn how to approach women the right way

If you’re after the knowledge of how to approach women then continue reading. Today I’m inviting you to come with me to a new world where women actually try to keep you talking to them and not the other way around. You’re going to learn the right and wrong ways to approach women and a few timeless principles that will help you become the king of any room. At first, approaching women seems rather difficult. Read on, however, and I will show you how to do so with ease and confidence.

The Problem:
You don’t want to be the guy who makes the woman feel awkward or who comes on too hard. Women are inundated with both of these kinds of guys. They hate these guys because they waste time, breed awkwardness and tension and act like everyone else. A guy like this is not special and he’s not sweeping her off her feet.

Worst of all, once he’s suspected of being one of these guys her defenses go up so that most of what he says will not emotionally stimulate her. In short, his manhood will have a lot more time to enjoy sitting there unused in his pants. These guys are slow and misdirected. They’re jumping in the water to see if they’ll instantly develop swimming skills, even though they’ll most likely just run into a strong tide and end up sinking. You’re going to learn how to approach women so that you’ll be jumping into a conversation fully equipped. You will be the submarine, not the castaway who fell overboard.

The How:
There are a variety of ways to approach women. All can work, but some only because you’re even approaching her at all and you’re going to pick up more women by talking amateurishly to them than by not talking at all. This is effort. This wastes time. This is embarrassing. You need to be “counter-intuitive.” Counter-intuitiveness is one of the four overarching principles of our online and offline courses on how to approach women quickly.

Take her by surprise
This is the dating adaptation of Sun Tzu’s “Art of War’” principles. If you catch her unaware and unprepared you have the advantage because she will have no time to put up her defenses. I like daytime pickups because women aren’t expecting to be approached, unlike when they’re in the club. Additionally I reap an average of five numbers per day during the 15 minutes I put aside on my 60 minute lunch break. I do this twice a week and have two dates a night. You can learn to get a woman’s number in a minute and do this today on our site for free but this personal bit of information is not so important here; I’m just bragging to entice you to keep reading.

The Solution:

1) Shock her by what you say:

The way I do this is by “going direct.” Women want a man who takes charge but continues to be gentleman. You’re not there to be friends but you’re also not there to be sleazy. So, muster up some humility, touch her on the arm to get her attention and kickstart the physical escalation. Tell her in a casual but confident way that you’re there because you think she’s cute/funky/captivating. She’s not hot/stunning/smoking. That’s too heavy. You need to come across as the guy who doesn’t do this to every woman. She’s special and special enough for you to actually take the time to approach her – something she needs to see as a rarity.

The point is, if your woman doesn’t see you stalking her out and approaching her and then gets a rare and sincere compliment, she won’t even have time to think about being defensive. She will be caught off guard, have no defenses and already be guided into being “swept off her feet.” You hold the broom and you sweep her where you want her to go. The compliment and opener are enough to do this.

2) Attack girl A with a view of capturing girl B.

This is another of Sun Tzu’s principles. You distract her with a “situational opener” and then apply step one. This is basically an extra step you can add to the first if you’re too nervous to begin with it or if it would be too blatant and inappropriate for the situation, such as at a business meeting.

You will distract her defenses with small talk, soften her up a bit and then attack her where it’s needed, on the seduction front. In practical terms this means that once your small talk convinces her that you’re not a sleaze or a shy guy having a shot, she realizes that you’re safe and normal and not some psycho who runs out proclaiming his love for her. Instead you’re building rapport and heating the oven before you put the turkey in it.

Either way the turkey will still get cooked but you may get a better result doing it this way. The problem is that the woman perceives it as being the exact opposite of counter-intuitiveness. It is what most average shy guys do. They TRY to create conversation from an often lame starting point that is obviously just a cover for trying to talk to her. This is the problem with “opinion openers” which are basically asking a woman a question in an attempt use it as a seed that grows into a decent conversation.

It works only 40 percent of the time as it is just way too obvious. You are to use your opening comment for women who are too shy to be able to take a compliment early in a conversation and for women who are so hot that they hear blatant come-ons all day. The opening comment is less direct but can distract a woman with sincerity.

Here’s how:

  • The comment needs to be playful. There can be a bit of flirty teasing in it.
  • The comment needs to apply to what she is doing and be in context with that.

Approaching in a supermarket example:

You’re in a supermarket and see a woman trying to decide which type of cheese to take. Commenting on her taking a long time shows that you’re perceptive, considerate and sincere. If you’ve realized that she’s taking a while to choose, comment on it.

You : “Now either you’re a real cheese connoisseur and choosing the right Brie is a hard decision to make or you know nothing about cheese” (situational opener).
Her: “You’re right. It’s just so hard. I like cheese; I’m no professional but I just want to try something new”
You: “Well by the time you make up your mind you may as well go home and just slice up the congealed milk you’ll have had sitting in the fridge for a week and use that instead” (teasing shows you’re confident enough to flirt with losing her, which in effect shows you’re not a sleaze nor a shy guy battling at small talk).
Her:Well Mr. Expert, what would you suggest?”
You: “I’d suggest something inappropriate like accompanying me to my favorite cheese shop a few doors down because the cheese excuse will run out soon and I think I’ll kick myself if I don’t get to find out more about you” (step one and social norms).

“Social Norms”

This is a technique explained inside our course and is based on stating the obvious to remove social awkwardness. If you just tell her what’s on your mind and state the cliché then you remove the sleaze risk. Why? Because you communicate to her that you’re aware of what is sleazy and what isn’t. Additionally it’s the best thing you can do for rapport. It’s the foundation for connecting with anyone. That, however, is another issue for another time.

When it comes to knowing how to approach women this is of the most stress free ways to be charming, quell your nerves and most of all put your real self out there in the best possible light. The best part? It takes about 10 seconds to approach a woman properly. We can even show you just how to do so in our Videos Section. Want to learn more? Check out my Online Dating Course for Men: http://seduceinseconds.com/dating-course-for-men.



38 Comments. Leave new

i will appreciate any ideas on that one, since many women that i will try to approach are very nasty to me.

They do – but society (including us males) still perceive women who approach as ‘easy’ – it takes more finesse for a woman to approach. It is a shame

IF you wrote learn lines women will get fed up with ‘games’. If you use principles and apply them contextually this wont happen. Women are more empowered in most developed countries these days (except for places like Sharia law countries and India). Even where I live now in China the women are approaching more and I’m starting to see couples show more public displays of affection on the street. The trend is happening but don’t wait for it – dont be passive, take action.

Or… as we have begun to see, guys have stopped approaching women, getting fed up with this game and its rules, hoping to reclaim some value. Maybe the women, now forced to approach more often, will start to appreciate men.I hope that this happens.

Well, the numbers show that men are approaching women a lot less these days.So maybe it is NOT fear of approaching, but “modern” men trying to stop being treated like dogs.Looks like more women are going to HAVE to approach men.. and face some rejection themselves.

Easier said than done – just remember….if you know absolutely ZERO about picking up women and STILL approach…your confidence will still grow because you will stop beating yourself up in your head everytime you walk past an attractive women. N

Nice simple steps i’ll make use of them n get bak.

There’s this cute girl in one of my classes. I sit in the front and she sits in the back. How do I approach her without making it seem obvious and creepy?
Also, I have 15 minutes to get to my next class when this one ends, so could I somehow use that to my advantage too?

Thanks fot these dating tips. I will make sure to remember them. I’m really shy right now and I don’t know how to talk to any girls but I’m sure this is going to change now.

How would you go about approaching and picking up a girl that you already know?


Could you help me with something here. See my girlfriend broke up with me without giving any reason and i really want to get her back could you give me some advice on getting her back.

It would really help me a lot.


hi , i was wondering if those openers would work at school



Hey T,

Im really interested in joining your programme.The best thing abt your method is that it cutsacross all the BS of opinion openers that the other PUA s advocate.do you have any tips on approaching consistently as i generally dont feel the drive to approach a lot.I have to push myself too hard to get one approach done.Coulld this be cos im using opinion openers and im thinking too hard….?I will be joining your programme end of this month as i ve maxed out my credit card this month.still waiting for the salary to come…lol

Properly done This was a excellent piece of writing. Do go on as you might be. I shall be eagerly waiting.

hey Gabe J ask some hot babes to touch ur nipple

im 15 and i get nervous around hot babes and when i talk to them i dont know what to was is there any way to over come this shity problem and to find out what to say

My last minute advice is to go out and make your first three approaches targetted to actually getting rejected.

Yes… sounds weird I know but there’s a method to my madness and it is this…

Your approach anxiety and nervousness will most likely come from a fear of either:
1) Not knowing how to start the conversation
2) Not knowing what to say
3) Not knowing how to escalate and brew attraction

There’s a lot to discuss about these three things but hopefully, in short, I can help you here.

Firstly, use a direct opener – this simply is “I know this is a little weird but I saw you from over there and I thought you were really attractive so I wanted to come say hi” (for example). Make sure you open girls you genuinely think are attractive otherwise it will come off as insincere.

Do this THREE TIMES with the AIM OF GETTING REJECTED. Whether this means you be rude, go silent on purpose or do whatever you need to do to get rejected in the beginning. There are many reasons why this is important but the most important is that your fears will very quickly subside once you’re exposed to the thing you are fearful of. Your nervousness comes from a fear of rejection and once you welcome that rejection and experience it you will instantly feel it dissipate as you will have been exposed to it and you’ll realise that it really isn’t that bad. No one ever says ‘fuck off you loser’, most people just say ‘thanks for the chat’ and walk away.

It will help you develop a thick skin to rejection and it is the fastest and most effective (and simple) way to instantly reducing your approach anxiety down to nothing. The only trick is that you will need to do these three approaches/rejections in quick succession and on and with people you don’t know (cold approaches). You need to hit your system hard by facing your fear and through a quick bout of exposure you will get over it quickly.

Ive lways been nervous around girls, i just came across your videos today and i am going to try some of the tips and tricks that you taught me in these videos. But before i go out and try them out i would like to know if you have any last minute advice that you think might help.

philadelphia joe
May 17, 2010 7:48 pm

hahah… i used alot of your push/pull techniques and playful attitude towards openers forever without even realizing it

I believe one of the best ways to convert an opener, and I’m not expert by any means, but I’ve always either asked her whats on the agenda today,or I comment on our surroundings(if were in a bookstore,ask her what kind of books shes into,a grocery store,ask her should I go for the artificial orange juice,or the 100% authentic,or if we’re in the DMV,ask her how many tickets does she need to pay off….)have fun fellas,its really not complicated.

I would suggest trying to pick up women at places where you are comfortable at first,if you struggle with normal areas,cause you tend to be more at home and calm if you know where you are,and whose around.

Hello T I’m 16 and I want to approach a girl who’s 18 what are some ways to approach older women? or does it even matter?


Had a question for you. Have you met many women PUAs? If so what’s your opinion on them? I don’t meant to scare anyone on here but I’m a girl and I’m actually pretty interested considering there’s not much out that really teaches people how to have confidence and how to build an attraction. As you already know, a lot of guys are actually are pretty insecure and don’t know how to talk to women. This actually makes the dating scene boring for girls who actually want to have fun and be challenged, but the question is, do guys want women to approach them? Or would they rather be the hunters themselves?

Truly, I thought your video on how to kiss a girl within the first 10 minutes was great and I actually sent it to one of my guy friends who is a PUA and has also taught me a few tricks. A lot of what you guys post, can work on guys too which is totally kick-ass for girls like me. Just out of curiosity, but have you or anyone else ever considered doing a course for women to make the game more entertaining?

Some girls are hotter than others but where I come from, our taste dictates that our women don’t dress like cheap whores (thank you European immigrants).


fixed thanks so much for letting me know

Hey this is a great post. I’m going to email this to my friends. I stumbled on this while googling for some rock lyrics, I’ll be sure to visit regularly. thanks for sharing.

I’ve already been attempting to repair items just about all week but to no avail, I most certainly will try out the following pointers and let you know if good

btw. all ur pics on this site are dead links.

this one is nice. way better than those stupid and wierd “wad up dog” from David D,
and g@y openings like “what movies is this from … ‘blah blah blah’ crap” from Mystery. And better than sneaky openers like “my fd over there’s abt to get drunk becoz he has had alot of drinks already, why dont we go help him out” from Gambler…. thx

Looking forward to see more examples like the cheese opening.

What do you say after you open? I cover it inside my online course but in short you can’t let them respond to your opener as it risks an awkward silence. Gambits, teases, and about 1000 other things can all be done after you open to make sure your conversation gets momentum. I think Lessons 5-7 cover alot of that for memory, perhaps its a little earlier.

Thanks for the props! You just made my day!

Yes I do, it is updated at least once weekly but you can subscribe to our RSS feed to be notified or our email list for extra stuff too.

Very cool, I’ll have more stuff for you here ASAP.

Oh thank you that’s really nice of you.

Awesome post, hey I came across this post while searching the web for random downloads. Thanks for sharing I’ll email my friends about this too.

Do you plan to keep this site updated? I sure hope so… its great!

Excellent article, I am a big fan of your website, keep on posting that great content, and I’ll be a regular visitor for a long time.

I have to these openers are really good and do work the best. They’re good for an opening approach and getting the number, but really where do you go from there? The woman doesn’t know you or trust you enough from here to want to date you. How do you take it after a quick approach?

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