The Dendros Theory – How To Hold A Great Conversation
WHAT WILL YOU LEARN IN THIS GUIDE:
- What Is The Dendros Theory?
- Branching Out
- Open Loops
- You Can Always Change The Topic of The Conversation
What Is The Dendros Theory?
The Dendros theory was something I came up with years ago for networking and have now applied it to having successful conversations. Dendros theory gives the impression that you understand what the woman has to say and can hold a fluent conversation. Please be aware that this is only to be used when you are finding it difficult to make conversation.
The theory is based on the “Dendros” (Greek word for tree) and how it develops in any environment to get the most out of any situation.
Picture a tree’s trunk, only a trunk with nothing coming out of it, this is the first part of a conversation. This trunk will let out three or four branches and then each of those branches will let out another three or four etc. Do not talk to chicks about horticulture, this is a metaphor.
Imagine you’re having a conversation; the woman will always give you an opportunity (intentional or not) to sink deeper into discussion with you. Your initial opportunity is the trunk of your tree, also referred to as the open loop. This might be “work was hard today”, “I just came back from shopping” or even “I’m good thanks”.
When you get a girl who is just incapable of giving you any conversation, use this. Take the miniscule opportunity she gives you (the trunk) and then create a branch, and then another branch and so on. This will always result in a deep and meaningful conversation (and will help with you building comfort).
How do you create a branch from something that is a bland topic statement? Think about what she just said to you and practice some situations in your head. Take whatever you can out of her comment and insert it into a question. e.g. If she says “work was hard today” you could say any one of the following “where do you work, why was it hard, how many hours did you work today, do you work everyday, how long have you worked there”… The opportunities are endless even if they don’t appear to be.
She may say “Last night at this nightclub my friends and had the best time dancing”. The options you have from this statement are:
1. Which nightclub
2. Nightclubs in general
3. Which friends
6. Places to go at night
You now have the chance to choose which “branches you climb”, in other words pick the options that will best relate to where you want the conversation to go. Ones that are of a positive, fun or sexual nature can guide you in the right direction. To continually maintain someone’s attention you need to constantly jump from topic to topic so you keep the conversation from getting slow or losing energy. Guys love to stick on one topic for too long, they think that if it was good to begin with it will continue to be interesting. What generally happens is that they stay in it for too long and stall out.
Open loops are statements you make that cannot help but spark someone’s curiosity and will usually pre-empt them to ask you the questions. Once you ask / find out where she works (e.g. Oxford St) then throw in an open-loop: “I love shopping around there, but everyone seems so pretentious, although I went to the most amazing restaurant there the other day”.
70% of the time they will always reply with “really? What restaurant?”. Now they’re asking you questions and should continue to do so as long as you keep using these interesting comments.
Now that she wants to find out things from you, you’re in control. Open loops will help you move her into the conversation more, rather than your interaction taking the form of an interrogation.
Let me give you an example of a conversation:
Her: I just came back from shopping (trunk)
You: really, where did you go?
Her: Oxford st. (branch)
Here you have the opportunity to effortlessly enter a conversation about anything that remotely has to do with Oxford St. This could be a story demonstrating your higher value about a beneficial aspect of your personality. Examples can include how your friend owns a gallery there, retail outlets you went to, how you think other areas are better, restaurants on Oxford, clubs there, the markets there, furniture stores, etc.
You:they have the most amazing markets there; I picked up these crazy spices there from this Moroccan dude, I used it cooking last night it was amazing. The last time I tasted Moroccan that good was in Morocco
Her: did you go to Morocco? (Now the conversation can be about you, but if she doesn’t ask then continue branching); I don’t like that kind of stuff (Branch into what she does like through getting her to tell you through a direct question or subtle statement)
You: you’re crazy if you think a steak with tomato sauce is better than that (Framing her as uncultured. The use of a statement, rather than a question can help to avoid sounding like an interrogator; it’s how friends talk to each other and it can create an assumption of familiarity)
Her: shut up, I eat other food; I really like Thai (qualifying herself)
You: ever been to “(insert a restaurant here)”?
Her: no (branch)
You: you’re not a Thai fan until you’ve eaten at “___________”, I have to take you there. Put your number in my phone and I will give a call next time I am heading down that way (Perfect excuse to ask her out)
Worst case scenario you go interrogation style and just ask questions that are RELATED to the thing she said before e.g. “oh well what do you like then?”
You: I’m told that’s really awesome, know of any good places?
You: can’t say I’ve been there, but I went to one down the road, etc. story tell etc.
You Can Always Change the Topic of The Conversation
This forces people into conversation and once you do it 5-10 times you can shape the conversation to your advantage through what branches you choose to climb. Keep in mind that if the topic you’re on is boring or is not getting the woman excited then change. Usually subjects dealing with relationships or the unknown are sure things. If you continue on with a boring conversation the woman will feel bored whilst in your company. When she looks back on your time together or thinks of you she will immediately associate you with how you make her feel bored. You can start a new topic by simply inserting another opinion opener in, or even by practicing your open loops.
To learn more conversation skills go to my Online Dating Course for Men. There you can find tons of great material(including video) related to dating, social interactions and getting better with women.