In this post I’m going to tell you why day game is easier than night game. Women are off their guard and less likely to reject you as bars often have an air of pretentiousness. In reality, that’s what this post is covering.When most people talk about “day game” they think it’s the sunlight that affects your success with women.
Day game is as clear as day
Someone in a comment recently said that picking up women in the daytime is “obviously” easier than at night. It’s an issue I’ve been wanting to discuss now with the public.
Whether you’re picking a woman up in the day or in the night is not a very important consideration (despite contrary belief). It’s really about picking up women in nightclubs and bars versus street pickups. To simplify it even further, it’s about context and social events. At clubs people have their “game faces” on while in the street they are just “on their way” somewhere.
Pick up before the sun goes down
(otherwise I lose my lighting)
People who see my pick up videos often attribute the speed at which I seduce women to the “day” because most of my public videos are in the day. These videos are not there because day game is easier. Those videos are there because I don’t have the money to pay a club to let me film in it. Also, the music is just way too loud and Sydney lacks “lounge” type places. They’re not there because they were in the day; daytime just the most convenient time to shoot.
In reality, it was easier because I have much more practice at picking up women off the street (regardless of the time of day) than in clubs. This is only because when I worked in corporate world I used my lunch breaks to set up women for that evening. It just worked for me and I did it more than five times before realizing that it was easier just doing that than continually researching night game (as being a pick up coach was my job during my degrees).
My circumstances made day game easier for me and the next thing I knew I was a “daytime pick up artist” which was really not accurate. I’m sure if you’re ever tried picking up in the daytime you would understand that it’s the same game but you’re playing a different team now. These girls are different because of their contexts, not because of their personalities.
Walking on Sunlight
We are all affected by social proof. Some get more easily swayed by it than others. You know the types of people who faint when Bon Jovi walks past but continue eating while 13 year old girls are on the news talking about being sex slaves. Most people just keep eating because it’s one in a hundred news stories. You’re complacent with the graphic depictions on TV that you watch every night. Bon Jovi you may meet only once in your lifetime while everyone around you is just dying to meet him and for some weird reason you suddenly faint when he shakes your hand (if you’re a little girl, that is).
Be a social chameleon when approaching women
It’s the context; it changes you. Think of yourself as a social chameleon. You adapt and change to fit your context and your company. Chameleons change their colors when mating just as we do when approaching women and just as women do when they are approached (regardless of day, night, bar, street, etc.).
Both men and women act differently when they are with their parents, their boss or when they’re trying to be attractive. Most of us try to reject others first because we all hate the idea of someone looking at us like there is something wrong with us. I like to think that if you’ve thought about whether something is reasonable or not you become a lot less frightened.
This applies to both how women react when approached in the street and men’s approach anxiety at night. The correlation is that women do not expect to get picked up outside of clubs and most men freeze when in a nightclub because it is so obvious to everyone that they are approaching.
Welcome to the Jungle
Axel Rose of Guns N’ Roses once wrote :
“Welcome to the jungle… You can have anything you want
But you better not take it from me”
Clubs can be very scary an intimidating jungles filled with lurking personalities. It can be quite daunting because most guys start to feel that their claim to the more attractive women is mitigated if there’s an alpha male around. The same excuses consistently arise out of guys who are thinking about approaching a woman. “She’s not alone” is a big one because of the perceived humiliation factor but if you’re comfortable with what you’re doing because you feel it is reasonable then they will be too. Sincerity, enthusiasm and emotions in general are contagious (e.g. high energy vs. low energy guys).
Either way, the usual excuse relates to a fear of being rejected.
“There are so many people around” is the one I’ve heard in nearly every one of my workshops over the past five years. This excuse, to me, is simply my students saying, “I don’t want to get rejected in public, it will only exacerbate my shame if I get rejected. Help me!” On the other hand the majority of good looking women rarely ever get approached by guys who are not shitting themselves deep down even if they are acting like a Silverback Gorilla.
You will not get rejected in a club any more or less than on the street if you’re a guy who has experience. By “experience,” I mean a guy who has just applied any of my four core principles at least three to five times on a stranger. That’s all it takes to get a good feel for it. Think of it like having two driving lessons after which you are instantly comfortable and ready to handle a race car. If you want to know more you can see the online course here.
It is all about context and to prove it here is a video of me picking up a Belgium girl at night outside Sydney’s “Eastern” nightclub, so this post is not all just theory. For you hungry hounds I’ve put up some tips in this video that correlate to my previous posts, all of which cover my four core principles of seduction: counter-intuitiveness, playfulness, indifference and push/pull.
So day game is not “obviously easier” and you guys should be aware of taking things like that for granted. Just think to yourselves once again:
“It’s not about the daylight that makes picking up easier, it’s context and company.”
In my next post I’ll cover the harder women in this world and how to deal with the ice queens and other cold and unresponsive women, so sign up to blog notifications here.
Daytime seductions are obviously easier
For now, I want to ask why is it “obviously easier?”
It took me three years to SUSPECT it was “obviously easier” because the women were unsuspecting of being picked up. Back then I was a huge Sun Tzu aficionado (as I still am) and was caught up on his theory of surprise and how it gave you a seriously unfair advantage over your enemy. Day game proved to be the battle ground of choice.
Most men believe that picking up women in a bar (or at night generally) is easier because the women actually go there to socialize. They also believe it is more conducive to conversation as the women aren’t on their way somewhere with no time to talk during the working day.
Another one of the innumerable benefits for pick up artists practicing “night game” is that the women get dressed up, put on their game faces and enter the social arena (bar/club/social event). This is how THEY like to play the game, from a position of power because they often feel much better presented (aesthetically) in these contexts which makes them feel more confident and therefore most likely to want to talk to a man. We all feel that to an extent in some contexts.
I later proved myself wrong when I entered the corporate world and only had about 15 minutes to spare on my one hour lunch break. None of my friends went to clubs and I personally thought they were very superficial places (as I still do). I didn’t feel they were superficial because the people in them were superficial, but rather because they ACTED in a superficial way. After all, if you spend two hours getting ready, “I’m making myself better” is usually what you have in mind, isn’t it?
I know I think that way about myself when I get ready as do most of the girls and guys I know. We’re all more similar than you realize. These things may sound obvious but how often do you really care to think about and notice them in everyday life? If you say “often,” then great, but most people are too caught up in their own life woes to spare the brain energy on things outside of their jobs and family.
Mr. Jones and Me
For older guys, day game has an appeal because night game is often very limited and filled with younger women to whom they find it hard to relate. Despite the common belief, from my experience I’ve realized that most older men do not prefer younger women because of their immaturity and naivety.
Many of my clients are engineers, barristers and IT guys who are pretty worldly, logical and professional and do not have the time to maintain the bullshit that often comes with younger women. They’d rather deal with the potential risk of “baggage” in an older women because often, the right guy just helps them to move on from their checkered past or defective personality traits. The divorced embittered women who have come to me later forget they ever “thought men were pigs” once they fell in love again (ohh… isn’t that sweet?).
These women are not all bad. In fact most feel so old and unsexy that any male attention is enough to give them a buzz. We under estimate how rarely people actually approach each other during the day. When did you do it last? I bet it was asking for a spare bar stool (or something else you may have considered an “approach”).
I won’t take you to the candy shop and you can’t lick the lollipop!
We also truly overestimate how rarely guys approach in bars. You see, I used to think guys ALWAYS approached in bars because I always saw groups of girls with guys. Most of them were all friends and arrived together. The others were guys doing one of three things (get a pen and take notes right now if you haven’t already):
Thought they were picking up a girl when in fact they were just making comments in passing to her like, “Nice night, isn’t it?”
Doubted whether they really were worthy of this girl and overcompensated by trying to reject the woman first, even though they were approaching her. They may have teased too hard, insulted them or simply been sleazy and disgusting.
These guys are the wankers, assholes and losers in clubs even if they’re totally cool, confident and popular in other aspects of their lives. They overcompensate and often guys who use “learned lines” or live and die by canned routines have the propensity to become this type of person. In short, they think they’re being really cool when in fact people can see right through them because despite their best efforts they’re not acting in a way consistent with that of an “attractive guy.”
The most common of these three types of guys are the ones who simply do not approach women at all. Many older guys have written to me expressing their disdain for seduction methods/techniques that simply would make them feel stupid. They would never be comfortable with saying something they perceive as a cheesy line that would be instantly detected as insincere or as some kind of ploy.
These guys doubt their abilities to such an extent that they often compensate by being really successful in other areas of their lives (e.g. work). They need to put their drive and ambition into things that furnish results and show development, like their careers. Women are just a no-go zone because it reeks of failure. Then they feel bad and try to cover it up with denial and/or complacency.
All these guys are all present in the night game arena. All of them are often obviously looking at the women who are walking by them. They’ve been drinking and they’re with their boys all filled with testosterone and all visually “sampling” the women. Women know guys look when they get dressed up. The problem is that they feel good about it for a second and then forget it ever happened. Many gorgeous women I’ve known are convinced that guys don’t approach them or even look at them but often they have forgotten completely or their backs were turned.
In the nighttime at bars and clubs there are more sources for external validation than women young and hot to enjoy. Nearly all three of the aforementioned categories of men above (also known as night-gamers) ogle the women who they all collectively decide “are the hottest.” All these guys also compete on who has the higher standards. They spend so much time competing on “whether the blond in the mini is hotter than the cougar in the jeans with the tits” that they kill all their opportunities. They never approach because they’ve just asserted (for the past hour) that “the blond is a 10 and the cougar is an eight.”
Either way, it doesn’t matter. They only feel confident enough to approach a six, and that’s only if they’re friends aren’t around to “see Steve fail with a 6! Ha!” Their mates would later tell them “not to take rejection too seriously” but it doesn’t help because they FEEL like big phonies.
These guys often fuck themselves right out of night game rather than right into a woman they’ve just met. Time and time again they can’t approach women because of the loss of face that may occur, particularly if their friends actually do get women and they don’t.
Purple Haze All Through Your Brain
Mental blanks are that black fog you get in your mind when you really feel you have nothing to say. These usually always come from guys letting a rejection deter them from approaching and the rejection ends up being remembered as a whole lot worse than it actually was. Then they doubt themselves and the excuses come to cover up the honest truth that “I don’t feel I can get her.”
This is why night game is harder for the majority of men. The holes into which they dig themselves and the increased pretentiousness of women when they get themselves out. Women, especially ones who are not confident or get approached badly on a regular basis, often feel and act like they have the pick of the litter when they’re looking good, drunk/drugged and out with their friends.
You see, women don’t exactly “approach” because, why should they? To them it’s a common fact that men often just want sex quickly and they will feel cheap and slutty if they “just get fucked by some random guy.” After all, it’s traditional for the man to approach; it’s the norm worldwide (unless you’re getting married off to a 13 year old in Iran, then it’s all about your family and your dowry. Puke).
But women at clubs WANT to approach and they do it in their own special ways.
Pretty Woman, Walking Down the Street, The Kind I’d Like to Meet
1) The pretentious ones: Some don a seemingly impenetrable facade of pretentiousness because they feel insecure and want to cover it up. It’s usually because the girl next to her has better breasts (even though she thinks she “has better legs and a nicer face”).The Seduce in Seconds course will give you the tools that you need to pick up women who are like this.
Some of you (sticky beak subscribers of mine who subscribe to my Twitter) found out about the post I started writing a year ago on ice queens and unresponsive women. If you’re still interested let me know and I’ll start testing it again if you feel it will help.
2) Flirty women: Whether it’s the girl at the pub who talks to anyone or the model at a magazine launch, these girls know how to get their way with men. Many of them simply just TALK to these guys more than other women and somewhere in the back of the guys’ minds they like that. Something tickles them that they’re being approached for once. These are the women who flirt to gently (or hot and heavily) play their targets and woo them at will. Despite contrary belief these women often are not bad people, they’re just smart women who know how to use what they have, even if it’s just charisma. You’ll be more likely to see a guy think about this woman while he’s in the swing of it than think about some naked blond in a magazine. Why? You know why, because it’s more real (and now we have amateur porn).
3) The oblivious women: For whatever reason, some women are just totally oblivious to even realize the mere fact that you’re of the opposite gender. They are also the women who are taken, lesbian, newly taken and those with restrictive standards. You know them, in fact, you’ve probably worked with them. They’re the girls who “don’t date guys from work” or “don’t date guys from school” and also those who “love a hard one in the morning” (NB: Lost a bet to Jack Coxwell so I had to write “love a hard one in the morning” in a post. Long story). Either way, they don’t consider you an option and never have.
4) The options: The girl(s) with whom you actually do have a chance if you pull it off right. In reality, these women are the ones men, for whatever reason, do not pursue unless they have a game plan and a good idea as to what’s going to happen next. They are just as easy to pick up as all the other types of women that you often find in middle to upper class bars and clubs but talk yourself out of approaching. The best part is that the vast majority of women in bars and clubs are there for a reason. If they have friends that party hard they will often party hard with them. If they have a boyfriend it doesn’t matter because they like the attention and flirting with the risk. Taken women often lack outlets to use their sexuality to the same effect as they could in their younger/single years.
These are the four main types of women with which the bars of the world have provided me. Type four made night game worthwhile but when you work all day in the 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. hours (or more) you’re often left with your lunch break as the only time you’re active, alert and stimulated from your joke (or even just “not tired and bored when you do it” will suffice).
This was one of the many reasons I decided to try “day game” (picking up women off the street during the day). I was awake and stimulated during the day while lazy and never motivated enough to get ready and go out at night. Only in trying day game did I realize that all my complicated theories about personality types and nighttime social dynamics (above), are not outdated, just trumped by the power of surprise that is inherent in day game.
You can take women by surprise at night simply by being different than all the other guys that have stumbled up to her. For that you would apply my four core principles which are mentioned in all my posts. You need to understand though that using the four principles at night is the fastest way to pick up women. However, the context in which you will be using them will be different so you need to understand that it’s not whether night game is better than day game, but rather it’s whether or not you’re educated in how to approach different situations.
I Did It My Way
There’s always an easier way and I’m forever on the hunt to discover the fastest and simplest ways to seduce. I read Sun Tzu’s Art of War and then applied his learning so I could pick up on my lunch break. I made the solution suit me so that day game became my forte simply because it’s all I had to work with. That’s why many of my videos are filmed in the daytime (and also because of filming rights, sound issues and poor lighting in clubs). Many times we do get lucky though. I’ll update the videos soon since I know it’s been ages.
Whether it’s meeting women during the day or picking up girls in a bar, your preferred choice will be surprisingly similar to wherever you’ve had past successes. In other words, if the last two girls you met were picked up off the street are negligible compared to the four you picked up through friends, you may consider yourself good “only once you’re their friend.”
The most dangerous thing is that you will forget all of this. It is not as succinct and as simple as it should be learned. In fact, reading this is probably just overloading your brain with “principles” which you will easily forget. All this learning and new knowledge you have will be pushed to the back of your mind by work and by life in general, and you’ll forget the obvious:
“It’s about context and company” when it comes to picking up women (and men for that matter, ladies).
If he’s with his mates you will often get a cold and macho response, ladies. Guys, if she’s just sitting there blank as you approach her do not be surprised if she is more likely to reject you.
Why do you risk get rejected more at night?
Well, if it’s anything like what I always see, it is usually because her friends have been approached by “hotter guys than you” and she then adopts her friends’ standards (just like she may out of a Cosmo Magazine, too. Can’t believe I was in that, puke). This is all assuming you know NOTHING about picking up women. If you’ve read my blog or want to do my online course then picking up women at a bar (at night) will not be a problem, rather, it will be a pleasure.
For now, the best thing you can do is to try to remind yourself of this FACT. It’s not a trick, just a fact. Remember it next time you’re nervous or feel like you’re being talked down. Remember that you’re not a lamb approaching the slaughter.
Think of yourself more as the landlord of the slaughterhouse or even better, “the president,” as one of my recent Polish clients told me (weird considering his country’s president just passed away. I think he was just being a little off there).