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Speed Follows Simplicity:
Seven self interested reasons to keep it simple with women
Blog Version
Who says speed and simplicity is limited to white women? T’s world tour took him to Korea for dating workshops where one Korean girl couldn’t hold back.
It’s never been easier to find a solution to a specific dating problem. A technique, a process or even an inner game course: they’re all just a few clicks away so why restrict yourself when learning how to pick up girls?
You can never remember all of the techniques, tips, hints and past learning experiences. When you’re looking at a woman whose undivided attention alone is turning you on because she’s just that hot, well, you often risk having a mental blank because your nervousness short circuits your brain a little. If it’s not a mental blank, it’s mental blank’s pesky deranged brother “nervousness.” With this you will often talk too much and too quickly and are purely content reliant.
Pickup lines and techniques
The lines, processes and hidden camera videos on how to pick up a girl (at the gym, for instance) are easy training wheels to get you seeing results quickly in a cool way. If you try to memorize them all and recall them when you’re overexcited or nervous you’ll find that those 200 and whatever techniques you’ve learned will be reduced down to one common thought at crunch time:
“Fuck! What am I going to say next?”
My answer to that is to use a playful tease twice, compliment her once and advance your kino escalation attempts four to five times…
That was a joke, even though it’s not funny enough to laugh at out loud because part of you may have just gotten a chubby at the thought of discovering my “next magic bullet/miracle cure/etc.” I like to keep two things in mind to make sure that any guy looking for a way to pick up girls quickly and simply does it right. I’ve outlined them here in seven self interested reasons for keeping it simple with women. Do not undervalue its significance among the hype.
#7 Simplicity = Results = Confidence Fast
Seduce In Seconds’ 18,000 infield tests over the past six years have consistently shown that your confidence will suffer if you learn techniques without ever formulating your own solutions.
Your confidence is impaired from how you learn, not just from what you learn. If you train yourself to remember 300 things and then you get nervous they will inevitably go out the window even if they are a “game plan for approach anxiety.” Forget minor fixes; you need a game plan for The Game itself.
That game plan does not lie in an approach anxiety fix if you’re nervous and, for example, want to pick up a girl in a club. It lies in simplicity and learning how to apply only a few key ideas that work across all areas of seduction and human interaction. Everything else is just an example showing how you can use these core processes.
The problem is that these things are often so vague that they can never be implemented practically. That’s why I’ve spent the past six years formulating my four core principles and testing them worldwide.
They are:
- Counter-intuitiveness
- Playfulness
- Push/pull
- Indifference
We film them time and time again to make sure our memories don’t taint what really happened. Stall outs and mental blanks were resolved when I changed the way Seduce In Seconds approached social interaction. Learning only four key things which are easy to apply and keep in the forefront of your mind lets you create your solutions and gives you more confidence and faith in your abilities.
Far more importantly, your confidence will skyrocket once you stop having mental blanks caused by “material anxiety” (how do I remember and apply what I’ve learned in a sincere and non-robotic way).
No more mental blanks means it’s easier for you to seem cool, calm, collected and indifferent (essential goals). You can think clearly and just apply these four core things at will where they’re needed and even to recover from mistakes. I don’t have room to explain them here but I have a guide that you’ll soon be able to download showing you ways to pick up girls by using them.
#6 People Don’t Doubt You
With simplicity comes sincerity. Thinking too hard about what to do next takes your brain and your sincerity out of any conversation that you will have with women. Staying in the moment and not getting lost in a maze of “solutions” which sound like miracle cures is the way to go.
The days of having six steps for approach anxiety, three for a good conversation and three for getting a kiss are over. Only four core principles are what I believe you need to know to pick up a girl and be an effective pickup artist (which, to me, requires speed and efficiency).
You’ll get so distracted from thinking about what technique to use and forget that you need to also think about how you’re going to deliver in a way that doesn’t look contrived.
Take note that this also applies to “inner” and “natural” game confidence solutions couched in spiritual rants about “deep purpose” and other things that rarely show consistent results.
I’m not saying these things don’t exist but I’ve never seen any of them work quickly and consistently nor be filmed and tested. Many people say that my stuff doesn’t work or isn’t real. Though the argument is good you need to test it all yourself before you make a decision. If something works, keep it or get the right person to teach you.
How about you just sit there and talk to that hot girl and use these four simple things when you get the chance.
How does that sound?
The benefits are obvious when it comes to conversations and confidence when you approach it this way. Your sincerity and focus on both the woman and your context promote sincere and interesting conversations.
#5 More Respect
You will get more respect with women. You will not be looked at like a sleazy guy coming up to a woman for a quick shot at whether he can put himself through her. You will be seen as sincere, confident, laid back and attractive. Once the social proof kicks in and you start to realize that external validation is important to keeping confidence in your life, you’ll feel even more attractive. Not trying too hard to use these four principles will get you laid quicker than trying with more effort to learn, recall and apply a myriad of techniques and lines.
#4 You Get To Be Lazy
Try being lazier; it will actually help.
More mental effort on your behalf will show either through
- talking too fast.
- mental blanks.
- giving replies that show you were thinking about what to say next and not really listening.
My guys who have learned this know that we’re a rarity because this is not a different method. Rather, it’s a different approach to learning and implementing things in a way that will allow you to know how to pick up a girl both quickly and realistically.
This is all assuming you approach women at all. If you don’t approach you will waste more time filling your head and getting information overload which, in effect, will make your approach anxiety worse.
#3 Live Like a Celebrity
Approach anxiety arises simply out of the fact that you doubt you can pick up that girl for sure and handle everything that comes your way.
Unlike celebrities, some pickup artists have an undying dedication to finding faster and easier ways to pick up women. People often seem to think we are celebrities because we become popular in a room of people very quickly. People wonder who you are and when they find out you’re nobody they love you even more because you’re a real rarity.
However, like celebrities, pickup artists who approach women get complacent with their results and their nerves. Soon they begin to have a “celebrity-like” impression on people because they’re cool, laid back, popular, respected and all that other stuff. They show indifference as to what they do to achieve all of those things and people keep buying it.
What this means is that just like celebrities, we simple and speedy pickup artists get so many women that we become complacent with our success. We have an “I don’t care if you don’t like what I’m saying to you right now because 95 percent of the people with whom I do this love it so you’re just not for me” attitude. It’s easier for us to just go and approach another woman and number close her in under a minute or take her on an instant date. If you want to see me doing some of this stuff you can in the Videos Section.
Indifference means you don’t care and that is a key to having and demonstrating confidence just like the celebrities, rock stars and other famous people we’re told to envy by Public Relations companies.
They don’t “live the rock star lifestyle” by always thinking about how to seem cool or popular. They simply act in a way counter-intuitive to most. The media tells everyone who is cool so that those people get power, attention and “social proof.”
They can do what they like, say what they like and act as they like because people around them approve of it and want more. If you’re by yourself, still act in a way consistent with how a celebrity would act. This helps to convince people that you’re the king.
We all have stereotypes in our heads and we have an idea of what a confident guy should be like. Act in accordance with it so that even if you’re not, people will think you are. They’ll treat you well, you’ll feel validated, your short term confidence will grow and you’ll laugh at how you used to be.
Unfortunately you may get too inside your own head and never get to even approach a woman because you think there’s “so much more learning to do first.” In reality, this is just an excuse to bide your time and avoid the possibility of rejection.
#2 Speed
The only test for simplicity is speed. Look at an iPhone, for example. I can do most things more quickly and simply on my iPhone than on my laptop. I can take and post hidden camera videos 200 times faster than I do on a PC at the touch of a button because I can replicate the same process over and over with lightning speed and little thought.
Seduction should always be the same and the real way to test is through seeing how fast you can replicate it. To do something fast you need definite solutions to a wide range of problems and the four keys to seduction: counter-intuitiveness, push/pull, playfulness and indifference. These have proven to be the fastest four principles and my guys are using them right now as their only ways to pick up girls. We’ve tested these principles and know they work by seeing how quickly and accurately a solution can be replicated. It’s the simple way to sort the real gold from the fool’s gold in the real world.
#1 You Actually Try
You will like the fast results from simple things. Once you realize how easy it is to do you’ll simply do what you like, just like a celebrity or a rock star. Unlike a celebrity or a rock star, however, you will know WHY you are the way you are, why people are acting the way they are and can sit back and enjoy knowing that this isn’t just luck or some sort of 15 minutes of fame.
You will do this more. Your confidence will improve. You will be happier.
Simplicity is the key. Less should do more. Too much information and too many long winded solutions are not solutions; they’re problems for the aspiring pickup artist. Always remember:
“Talent hits a target no one else can hit; Genius hits a target no one else can see.”
I talk about all of this and more in a guide that I’m working on for guys who want the practical ways to apply these four things and to be able to do crazy things. I’ll talk about how to pick up women without talking, how to pick up women using your tongue from two meters away and about validation, confidence and approach anxiety, among other things.
Go to Seduce In Seconds and sign up to my newsletter to get this for free when I finish testing a few more final things and getting the hidden camera videos for them. Alternatively you can get my 30 lesson course on how to pick up women fast here.
In case you didn’t download Speed And Simplicity With Women, click here to get the file again.
Got questions? Post them here! I’ll be happy to answer them when I can or one of my associate instructors will.
Cheers,
T
Do you think Counter intuitiveness is a key aspect? Could you approach a girl with something mundane like hi my name is John and still win her over using the 3 other principles?
Yes you can. All the 4 things can be used in addition to your personality to direct it along to get women. At the core of it, each one of these things are important for their own specific reasons. Your situation will dictate how important ‘counter intuitiveness’ would be, for example:
“Hi my name is John” may indeed be counter intuitive if all the other guys who have tried to pick a girl before have used a ‘pick up line’ or a ‘canned opener’ like “Hey settle this argument for me Darling”. You have to remember counter intuitiveness is CONTEXT based. It’s not what YOU think is counter intuitive, it’s what the target will see as counter intuitive.
Of course, you can’t always know what the ‘target’ will see as counter intuitive unless you stalk and watch guys approach her. It usually doesn’t take too much brain power to figure out what it means to be counter intuitive though because don’t forget, we’re all human and most guys think and want to act just like you would. They would do the ‘logical’ thing, which actually isn’t “Hi I’m John” in my experience.
In my experience most men:
1) Just don’t approach
2) Over compensate for their nervousness and instead come on too hard or simply say something that is received as quite odd or awkward
3) Make a comment in passing to the woman which goes nowhere e.g. “Ooh, that drink looks nice” or “Hows your night going”
So in reality, “Hi I’m John” can often be counter intuitive. But you need to be aware of your context , if everyone is saying “Hi my name is John” because it’s a corporate networking function then it will often pay to stop, observe and think “whats the opposite of ‘hi I’m john’ within reason?”. When I go to corporate functions like Careers fairs or Industry Exhibitions I approach people by “stating the obvious”.
Why?
Because official and proper corporate types never state the obvious, they’re niceties are couched in professionalism and even if you have a big green lettuce leaf stuck in your teeth they won’t bat an eyelid. Me on the other hand, approached a stuffy woman at the Sydney Lawyers Careers Fair last week.
Her name was Sarah and she was a Junior Partner at one of the bigger Corporate Litigation firms (in other words, she was VERY official on the face of things). Most guys say ” I would never have the balls to do that” but you really don’t need balls if you just remember 1 thing that will stop you from being scared when implementing this / approaching:
Everyone is nice and laid back with someone. She may look official / pretentious or seem dry and uncooperative at first but never forget that each women you approach has a best friend, a boss and usually at least 2 other people in their lives that they enjoy talking to or are have to be nice to. Even though they may appear ‘cold’ it is just a facade because EVERYONE has had can can continue to have a proper conversation.
Always know that under every cold / official / pretentious facade there’s a real person who’s just putting it on. If you act like you understand and like you see through it “by observing and stating the obvious / the unspoken” then you will break through that falsity and instantly start talking to them in the same casual way the majority of people talk with their closest friends.
Hope this answers your question in hardcore detail.
Me: “Hey you guys look pretty interesting but before I talk to you about your product / service you need to promise not to give me any more bags or brochures because I’m getting a slipped disc carrying around all this promotional stuff.”
Her: *Laughs* No that’s Ok I’ll promise not to, just a business card….
Me: *Playfully* How much does that business card weigh?
Her: *Laughs* Not much, I’m sure you can handle it.
That makes perfect sense, thanks a lot.
So say if I was at a bar could I open with something like “So when are you getting me that drink? I have been waiting all night.” with a smile to show it a joke. Would that be ‘counter intuitiveness’ and do you think it would get the right response?
Yes that’s right, I’ve used that before with success.
It showed I was savvy in knowing social convention (that the guy usually buys the drink) but then I showed I was attractive in being savvy enough to break the social norm without being like most other guys. Most other guys break social norms and miss signals from women unknowingly. It’s attractive when you make it OBVIOUS that you’re having a play, if you don’t you flirt with easy failure.
The thing is, what is coming out of your mouth may not match the stereotype someone mind assigns you when they’re trying to figure out what type of guy you are and how to relate to you. A guy who is figured out as being gay in a womans mind ( or even just ‘in the closet’) will allow him to get away with a lot of heavy touching advances early on in their relationship. She will honestly think he’s gay and not see his advances as a sexual threat.
I’m not saying pretend to be gay to touch more women, hell no. I’m saying that when they first meet you they’re unknowingly trying to pick the type of guy you are. We do this because we need to know which aspects of your personality will need to go to work to have a successful interaction. I saw a guy just tonight talk down to his grown daughter and then be all nice and soft with his elderly mother. He said ‘oh fuck’ when his daughter dropped her fork and “oh it’s ok mum” when his mother knocked over the bread plate. He was just showing his two different ‘modes’ of relating to people.
All I’m saying is that counter intuitive approaches will avoid having people “‘pick you” and then think they know you. “It’s just another nervous loser” they may think but instead you actively apply counter intuitiveness. The moment she thinks that and picks you as “a nervous loser” and then you tell HER to buy you a drink with a smile will work but you may need a little bit more of an application of counter intuitiveness because before you do that just to make sure you doesn’t see you as a loser because she thinks you’re for real and not joking.
Hey T,
If you’re out on a date with a girl, how do you respond if she starts talking to some hot guy? I know, I know, if my game is tight, she should only have eyes for me, but I think it’s because I’m really extrodinarily social, now that I’ve made these lifestyle changes, talking and being friendly to everyone, so sometimes girls I go out with feel they need to prove that they’re social, too, if they’re a bit geeky.
How can I explain to a girl who has spent ages talking to some other guy that I value a girl who is friendly and social, but talking to some hot guy for ages is not something I value?
Or how would you respond if a different girl started talking to some guy?
Thanks!
Keep the good information comming, we need more authors like you!
so when do i do the juggling, magic trick, or read her palm? joking. the other day i’m in starbucks, copying numbers from the financials into a print out by hand. lucky, they have just to little bistro tables with two chairs each and i see this cute girl reading, and i take the chair behind her back, but sit with it turned about 45 degrees so i can look over her shoulder if i like, when i get tired of what i am doing, i mentally set my tone, and with the attitude of we’ve been married so long, she will be really bitchy if i don/t ask, i get up, lean over her shoulder, and with my best ‘im going to the kitchen, not can i buy you’ tone say: ‘i’m getting a refill, want anythng back?’ ‘no,thanks’ i work until i’m tired again. then i say: ‘i really like where our relationship is going.’ she: ‘relationship’ me ‘yeah’… you know…. we can spend a Sunday morning, you doing your thing, me doing mine, not talking, just enjoyint each other’s quiet company.’ she just turns around, and i go back to work. i get tired, “what are you reading anyway” shows me a relationship self-help book, turns away, then turns back: ‘that was really funny, what you said about the relatiohship thing’ conversation follows. date set, commitment to attend classes together, then the number, just to make the logistics easier, then her name. is this counter intuitive enough and should i have coppyrighted this first.
I think this is a great post. One thing that I find the most helpful is number five. Sometimes when I write, I just let the flow of the words and information come out so much that I loose the purpose. It’s only after editing when I realize what I’ve done. There’s defiantly a lot of great tips here I’m going to try to be more aware of.
Awesome blog, just found it in google. Subscribed!
B,
I would respond well. And when I say “well” I mean I would simply not stand for the that kind of behaviour unless the circumstances told me otherwise. If it was a guy she barely knows and you can hear in conversation she’s flirting (and no, her talking to him is not flirting even if you may convince yourself that it is).
I would stop, think about how I can make the situation fun for me. I’d introduce myself and take hold of their conversation and do with it what I liked. That would be fun for me because I know how to do that….to answer your Q.
Also don’t forget some people are just stupid, inconsiderate or not savvy / experienced enough to know how their actions affect others. You feel you have low confidence (just a comparison), and I’m sure it affects you in social situations.
The fact you said ‘hot guy’ indicated a lot of that to me. You see, I know many men who are confident and good with women. They approach women all the time with easy and get laid regularly. None of them ever refer to a guy their remembering as a “hot guy” even though NONE of them are ‘hot’. Therefore, even though I don’t know you, I get a good feeling that you’re not one of those guys because you don’t sound or act in a way consistent with that of a guy who has confidence with women.
In addition to that you’re on a blog with dating advice for men on it.
And, to answer your question about the ‘hot guy’:
Girls will not disrepect you if you command respect. Reward good behaviour and punish bad (keeping composed and through indifference).
She’s talking for ages to the hot guy? How can I make this more fun for me? Walk away and approach another girl, finished. To me that’s really obvious if I feel I’m not being unreasonable. Just think, ‘what would I expect her to do if I spoke to a hot girl for ages?’
Just keep in mind ‘reasonableness’, it’s a very individual thing. If you’re not confident discussing it with her and being totally open (whilst remaining composed and indifferent) then you will show her you don’t care but you’re also upfront which has innumerable benefits discussed more in the online course sectonion.
Also keep in mind that the more insecure you are the more unreasonable things may seem. When my girlfriend goes and talks to a hot guy for a while I couldn’t care less. You want him? Have him, because I don’t want to be with a girl that is in two minds about being with me. On the other hand, she has never ever given me any reason to doubt or question her loyalty so even though I may be on my guard I never show it.
To be more specific though, when this has happened to me I usually interject by introducing myself and quickly following it with a few gambits. I’m also overly nice and complimentary, I want him to see me as a beta male, someone who isn’t a threat. 95% of the time an introduction will end the issue as most guys like to avoid confrontation. You may FIND him confronting because of his looks but deep down it can often mean those guys are more insecure than you could ever imagine (in my experience).
If they ever confront me I usually become even nicer…it just makes them look like total dicks by comparison. The thing is, my nice comments now have a different delivery. A sarcastic one, I’m teasing him (push) to punish his bad behaviour but I do it without him even knowing because I have a strategy I have used for that many times before. Subscribe to the RSS feed and get my next blog post that I will write that follows this idea but applies it to dealing with Ice Queens and cold, unresponsive women.
For you it may be a different story. Here’s
Great article, hey I stumbled on to this story while surfing for popular lyrics. Thanks for sharing I’ll email my friends about this too.
Lyrics? That’s random. Thanks for compliment.
i go add to my favourites
Hi guys, if you’re encountering problems with the page loading, it might not just be your browser. Make sure you delete your cookies and try to refresh the webpage. That might make it work better.
Wow, I never new this, thankyou.
I was browsing today, unsure of what I was looking for, but knew that I needed help with my finances, and your site just popped up. (Divine intervention, or what!)
Hi T just wanted to say I love this thing you do for people it really helped me in many ways. Now I was trying to follow your stratagie on this cute girl in my geometry class but right when I tried to approach her I chickened out. I don’t know why this always happens I tryed at lunch aswell but same result. Sometimes in class she stares at me but I just look down right away I can’t seem to get over this fear. Lot’s of girls think I’m good looking (because I look like the vampire guy from twilight) but I still can’t seem to get over my fear of rejection or that she might not like me after all. I sit across from her so it’s really hard for me to just walk up there, I tryed that once but went half way cause I got to nervouse. I saw one of your videos where your asking people to touch your tit, I tryed that and felt better, but when it came up to me approaching her I just froze. And now she dosen’t really stare at me anymore; any help?
I have a question. if I see a girl that fall me apart and I bearly ask her for a ciggarette than I move on because Im freeze-out and in another day, I see her again,and this time I want to approach her but Im full of anxiety because Im evolved emotional with her,what should I do to get out of this anxiety?again,this anxiety get bigger only with her.what should I do to get out of it? (sorry for my bad english)
I have seen all you’ve done but I assure you that everything is very different and difficult in Puerto Rico. I would like to see how you work with this girls
can u explain how to execute the push pull and what it really is(with an example)
very good information you write it very clean. I’m very lucky to get this info from you, you’re a true life coach.
whats up when its time for call backs? lol how long should you really wait.. or even wait at all??
hey mr pua………what possible openers could i use to pick up girls in the mall? and what steps could i take to kiss a girl i’ve just met? also how do i get a girl who is not really into me to change the way she sees me?
Can push/pull techniques go too far sometimes like if ur using it too much or does this only seduce girls even more…I love to talk and approach women my general starters are “so wat makes you different from the rest of the girls here” i never come in saying..”hi my name is Jason” or things like that..i just think to myself..now wat if u were a sexy woman and had guys approach you wat would you want a person to say to get you interested so your counter intuitive really does work…and being too sexual..i mean if she says something like..i think math is so hard…and u say hmmm why don’t i teach u…first you add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and then we multiply..i mean if ur always being sexual won’t girls get turned off…wat i’m trying to say is..will push/pull techniques work only with sexual conversation or with any type of conversation whether it be about weather, sports and such….waiting for ur reply…..
T,
Can you give a few pointers on how to pick up a bartender (who evidently is being picked up countlessly through the night by sleazy guys). I note that being in the environment she is in – her guard is constantly up and its hard to not come across as “another one of those guys”.
What to do?
hayy, i’ve been studying your work for nearly a year now and its helped me alot thanks! but i was just wondering how to do this kind of thing to girls you already know (like in school, work, neighbours) and how to flirt with them and ask them out (in other words; find you irresistable). so really my question is; how to make girls who know you, find you irressistable?
Can you explain your 4 steps more in depth, I’m not quite getting them. Also, I always run out of things to discuss with girls, how can I improve this.
Hi
my main motive of writing you is to tell you that there is
a girl i have seen whom i like so much at work but actually i dont know how
to meet this girl and how to start my conversation with her.i may please want you
to shhow me how to start my conversation with this girl and how to meet her.
u are goooood,T…KEEP IT UP
Guys a lot of peoiple have been asking me about a broken link on this page. The link has always seemed to be working fine on our end so please email Amy admin@seduceinseconds.com and ask for this file.
Here’s the link again: http://seduceinseconds.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/Bootcamp-Booklet-3-Speed-Follows-Simplicity.pdf
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